Resiliency and Your Child

Resiliency is the ability to be able to bounce back from adversity, the ability to cope and to remain hopeful and optimistic even during difficult times. Children who are able to do this can rise above even the most challenging of childhoods.

From studies, it has been determined that resilient children have learned their coping skills from at least one nurturing adult in their life. The common denominator with most resilient children is that they've had at least one caring and interested adult in their life who has been supportive and has offered continuity and consistency in their lives.

Resilient children have characteristics such as self-confidence, the ability to control their feelings and the ability to solve problems. They generally feel competent, have positive and realistic attitudes, are persevering, have an easy-going temperament and have social skills that are more likely to adapt to adversity.

As parents it is important to help children become resilient and to believe in themselves. It is necessary to accept them for who they are, to talk openly with them, and to ensure that the child knows he/she is loved and accepted. It is important also to role model and show that optimism can endure in the face of adversity; to be positive; to give a child a level to work to; to laugh with children even when things are not going well and to discuss with a child how he can deal with his problems.

Creative activities help children manage stress by helping them to relax. Enjoy nature, it's a great resilience builder. It's important that children realize stress is in everyone's life; it is part of our journey through life, and teach them also that challenges help to build character and self-esteem. Children should be encouraged to discuss their fears.

Children need to feel that they belong, they need to have some input into their lives and some control over their environment. And all children want to be noticed; to know they matter. They require flexibility in their lives and the opportunity to make wise decisions.

Those who lack resiliency can become easily depressed. They will behave and think in a self-defeating manner. They will lack self-esteem and self-confidence and they will be unable to handle adversity with any kind of success.

When you raise a child who is able to cope with adversity, you are giving that child the tools to be successful in life regardless of whatever challenges are thrown his or her way. He will learn to have a sense of purpose and will have the ability to work with self-confidence towards his/her goals.