Daughter-in-Laws - How to Help Your Mother-in-Law Be the Best She Can Be

How can a daughter-in-law make a mother-in-law great? One way is that she can be a great daughter-in-law too. The following are some of the ways she can do this:

- If a daughter-in-law treats her mother-in-law with respect, in all likelihood the mother-in-law will reciprocate;
- When there has been a misunderstanding, work together to make an effort to come to an agreement, without anger;
- Accept the fact that you may make some mistakes too;
- Be willing to admit when you have been at fault and apologize;
- If there is a big issue, let your husband discuss it with his mother so you can avoid becoming involved in an argument;
- Make an effort to be somewhat interested in your mother-in-law's life;
- Include your mother-in-law in your lives, when possible, especially with invitations to children's school plays, sports days, and special holidays, etc.;
- Be friendly, considerate and upfront;
- Don't harbor grudges – they accomplish nothing except hurt the relationship;
- Remain calm, non-critical and try to be polite at all times;
- Don't be super sensitive or take things personally;
- Make an effort to understand the perspective of each other;
- Remember birthdays and give pictures of your children to their grandmother;
Appreciate the fact that your mother-in-law is the woman who raised the man you love so she can't be all that bad;
- Treat your mother-in-law with the same consideration that you would your own mother;
- Have a positive attitude and don't set unrealistic expectations. Few people can live up to high expectations;
- Be sensitive to your mother-in-law's feelings;
- Make an effort to communicate your feelings;
- Try to get to know each other because you often don't like someone until you get to know them. In some cases the daughter-in-law may feel threatened by the mother-in-law but probably after getting to know her, you may realize there is no reason to feel that way – your mother-in-law may not be that much different than your own mother;
- And remember that you may one day be a mother-in-law with the hope that you have a great daughter-in-law too.

Any relationship is a two-way street and this is especially true in the fact that this one has the potential for so much conflict. If both sides make a genuine effort to have a cohesive relationship, it benefits not only the daughter-in-law but also the mother-in-law and the children. And children are very quick to pick up on any discord within a family.

In my own situation, I have three daughter-in-laws and we enjoy our relationships to the extent that they invite me to New Year's Eve with their friends, for evenings of playing Wii with them and their children, invitations to go hiking and picnics, days at the beach, picking blueberries or spending a day at the park. One daughter-in-law recently offered to drive 2 ½ hours each way with me while I dropped another son, (her brother-in-law) at the airport, so I wouldn't have to drive back by myself. And as a bonus, my sons and my daughter-in-laws invite me to go on vacation with them. I am truly blessed.