Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Fondues - An Excellent Way to Entertain

There are many different types of fondues. They include cheese, usually used for breads; chicken or beef broth for vegetables; wine-based fondues, oil fondues which are the most common and chocolate which is great for dessert with fruit or cakes.

Fondues are an excellent way of entertaining for a sit-down dinner in that most of the work can be done well before your guests arrive. It is also a very relaxed, informal way of bringing guests together who may not know each other well. And because of the relaxed atmosphere, you can be guaranteed that there will be many laughs.

When food slips off the fondue fork we threaten that whoever loses something in the pot has to sing. Of course, since we don’t want to sing, we never insist that others do either although occasionally a brave soul will venture forth with a short tune. Quite often one guest or more has never been to a fondue so conversation opens up on what kind of fondues others have attended. Fondues are an extremely enjoyable form of entertainment and will often take up most of the evening.

With a fondue meal I include baked potatoes, wrapped in foil and pre-cooked, a salad, and either garlic bread, buns, bread sticks or cubed French bread. The vegetables can be almost anything that will hold its shape in the oil or fondue of choice. We have had carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, zucchini, yams, and green, red and yellow peppers. A few vegetables like eggplant will get mushy and you will often lose it in the pot. (If you want to try eggplant, practice your singing).

The meat is usually a sirloin tip roast cut into bite-sized cubes. Other meat items that are good in a fondue are sausages, veal and chicken. Seafood is also very good if you use a batter for dipping to give it a tempura effect. The batter is great for the vegetables as well. Perogies and chicken nuggets are also excellent when cooked in a fondue.

There are many sauces that can be made but I usually purchase most of the sauces I use. These include: teriyaki, plum sauce, sweet ‘n’ sour, tartar sauce, horseradish sauce and honey mustard. Many of the purchased sauces will work and experimenting with others will depend on your own personal taste. I also make a garlic butter (crushed garlic added to softened margarine or butter – to personal taste). The garlic butter is excellent with the vegetables, baked potato and perogies. Also include sour cream and bacon bits for the perogies and baked potatoes.

The following is a recipe for a Wine Fondue for cooking chicken, rabbit or veal:

1 - 750 m bottle of white wine 1 tsp sugar
1 – 2 inch piece of cinnamon stick 1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp celery salt
10 black peppercorns, crushed 1/4 tsp. garlic salt
4 whole cloves

Pour wine into a saucepan, add rest of the ingredients and let sit for 1 hour. Then bring to a boil. Filter through a fine sieve or cheesecloth and transfer to the fondue pot. Bring to a boil before dipping bite-size pieces of raw meat into the boiling wine fondue. Remove meat when cooked.

Creamy Veggie Fondue (Cheese)

1/4 cup milk 1/4 cup frozen chopped spinach
1/4 cup white wine (thawed and drained)
1 – 8 oz pkg shredded Cheddar cheese 1 tsp ground dry mustard
1 – 8 oz pkg shredded Monterey Jack cheese 1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1 – 8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened 1 tsp garlic powder
1/4 cup chopped green onions 1 tsp ground black pepper

Mix together milk, white wine, Cheddar cheese, Monterey Jack cheese and cream cheese over medium heat, stirring often until melted (about 10 minutes). Stir in green onions, spinach, dry mustard, cayenne pepper, garlic powder and black pepper. Continue cooking until all ingredients are well blended (about 10 minutes).
Put into fondue pot and keep warm. Can also be used as a dipper for bread sticks or cubed French bread and raw vegetables.

Batter (for seafood or vegetables)

11/2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp oil
1 egg, well beaten

Mix flour and salt together. Add oil, egg and about 1 cup cold water. Will make a
thick batter of approximately 2 cups.

Chocolate Fondue

12 oz. Chocolate (light, dark or white) Dippers:
3/4 cup cream Apple wedges, sliced bananas
1 – 2 tbsp brandy Pound or angel food cake
Dippers Mandarin orange segments, Pineapple chunks, marshmallows

Melt chocolate and cream over low heat and stir until smooth. Add brandy. It’s ready for dipping.

Things to Remember When Having a Fondue:

- Never put the hot fondue fork into your mouth. Include standard utensils on the table for eating.
- Be careful of the hot oil when cooking and using the fondue pot.
- 3 – 4 people per fondue pot works best.
- Use color-coded fondue forks to avoid confusion.
- Ideally have two fondue forks for each person.
- Have mats under fondue pots to avoid oil splatters on table and tablecloth.
- Be especially careful of cooking fuels for pots that are not electric. (If any of the fuel spills onto the mat or tablecloth, there is a potential for a fire, as we once discovered).
- Have separate dishes for the uncooked food so the cooked food can go on your dinner plate.

Enjoy!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Step-Parenting - Are There Gender Differences in Step-Families?

Do boys react differently to girls in step-family situations? Is it easier to be a stepmother or a stepfather? Is it more difficult to be a stepmother to stepsons or stepdaughters?

Studies show that generally sons have less family involvement than do daughters who are closer to their mother and will usually make an effort to cut their stepfather some slack. Boys are not as likely to with a stepfather. Stepdaughters will not usually tolerate anything they see as mistakes made by their stepmothers and boys generally don't get involved in the problems between stepdaughters and stepmothers. Girls often have difficulties with loyalties because of their biological mothers, even if their mother has died. There will be more problems between stepsons and their stepfathers especially if the child feels the father is too heavy handed in forms of criticism or discipline. This usually does not apply to younger children. It is generally those over ten years old that will have more difficulty with their stepfathers.

Adding also to the difficulties between girls and their stepmothers is the daughter's attachment to her father. Her feelings and attitude may also model those of her mother which, if there is jealousy expressed by the biological mother, will intensify the situation. Stepmothers will rarely receive trust and love from a child if the ex-wife is still angry and bitter about the divorce. Children will quickly pick up on these feelings, especially if the issues are addressed openly to the child by the angry parent.

According to studies, the majority of adult stepchildren prefer having a stepfather to having a stepmother. The reason for this is probably because in most cases the mother gets custody of the children so it is much easier for the children to get to know their stepfather than it is for the stepchildren to get to know their stepmother because in most cases they will only see each other every second weekend or so.

It is, in most cases, easier to be a stepfather than to be a stepmother unless the father has taken a wife who is much younger than himself or the ex-wife. This can be uncomfortable for the adult children if she is not much older than they are. There may then be resentment and bitterness which will increase their support for their biological mother and cause them to be more protective of her and less welcoming to the new stepmother.

Another reason it is more difficult to be a stepmother is that usually the women are the ones who look after the home, do the cooking, the laundry and have more dealings with the children so stepchildren are more likely to have to spend more time in the company of their stepmother than with a stepfather so any problems there are, are going to be exacerbated by the extra time spent together.

When stepchildren are adults, there is quite often the concern of who the beneficiaries will be – the stepmother or the children. Daughters are more likely to be concerned about this than their brothers and often having better relationships with their fathers will get their father on their side, sometimes to the stepmother's detriment. In many cases, it is easier to be stepmother to stepsons rather than to stepdaughters when the children are older.

Although there are gender differences resulting in difficulties when being in a step-parent situation, they more noticeably affect the stepmother than the stepfather. With a new wife, a stepdaughter and possibly even an ex-wife all vying for the attention of the husband/father, jealousies and resulting tension further increases difficulties when step-parenting.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Parenting a Step-Child - The Wins and Woes

Step-parenting is difficult. The negatives are heard more often than the positives when parenting in a blended family but there are things that can be done to make step- parenting easier. Perhaps some of the following suggestions will help you with your step- parenting woes.

Under the list of woes, most step-parents mention the lack of respect as one of the issues with comments such as 'why should I listen to you, you're not my real mother' (or father as the case may be). Other problems are when both the biological parent and child take sides against you; the child plays one parent against the other; children try to break the spouses up; having feelings of guilt because you may not feel the same way about your step-child as you do your own children, or when there are conflicts between the two partners. Other difficulties step-parents may face are not being invited to something while the birth parent is; the child lying about something you have said; ignoring you in your own home, or talking about the past at every chance they get so that you are excluded from the conversation. These are very real issues and can cause problems within blended families.

But there are wins also, Children learn from those they live with more than from anyone else. As a step-parent, you can be a positive role model and can experience the rewards of seeing your influence in the life of your step-child as they grow older. When you slowly and effectively erode your step-child's distrust of you by being loving, patient and kind and eventually witnessing the change in them. Young children especially will react to love if it is given consistently and without restrictions and often they will respond in kind. You will know then that the struggle has been well worth it. And especially if they one day call you their mother or father or introduce you as such.

There are many things that can be done to help towards having more wins than woes in your blended family. The following are some of the ways:

- offer loving guidance by helping your spouse in the role of parenting;
- it is important to begin slowly and let things develop naturally – children need to be ready to accept the change. And children know when adults are being sincere;
- the age of children will make a difference. Younger children will adjust more easily than older ones. According to statistics, children under ten are the most likely to accept a new adult into their life. Children between ten and fourteen years of age have the most difficulty adjusting to a step-family situation. Those who are fifteen years and older may have less involvement in step-family life as they are beginning to form their own identities;
- most older children prefer verbal praise and compliments rather than hugs and kisses;
- with older children it is preferable to begin on a friend-first basis;
- encourage your step-child's relationship with their own mother/or father. Children will appreciate this, even if they don't say it;
- success in blending will depend on several things. Among them are: How long ago did their parents divorce or the other parent die? How long and how well before the marriage did they know you? Did they see you often before the marriage? Were they fun events during the times you did see them? Does your partner have a good relationship with his/her children? How do the two ex's get along – is there tension and conflict? How much time do you spend with the children? If it is only every second weekend, it will take much longer to build a relationship;
- allow birth parent and children time together on their own;
- put the needs of the child first;
- be consistent with house rules for all children living in the house;
- create your own family traditions that everyone can be involved in – ones that will excite everyone. It takes time to develop a family history;
- have open communication, positive attitudes, mutual respect, patience and lots of love;
- be realistic and don't expect too much;
- don't disrupt an already established routine. Don't come in like a bulldozer and expect things to be your way;
- don't take things personally. There is a lot involved in the dynamics of any family and all changes take time and adjustment;
- remember that children, no matter what their age, need to feel safe, secure, loved and appreciated.

With patience, tolerance, hard work and a lot of love, there is a good opportunity to enjoy more wins than woes. But if the children are still not coming around, at least know you're trying your best and it may just take a little longer, especially if you are dealing with older children. Everything worth achieving takes time.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Single Parent Families - How to Make Your Children Feel Loved

When parents have separated, children may not feel as loved as they once did. Because the custodial parent is usually busier and the other parent is gone, it is particularly important as a single parent to make that extra effort to ensure that your children do feel as loved as they did before.

The following are some ways you can do this:

- being loving with them which may mean not taking your frustrations out on them, it is not their fault;
- respecting them and their opinions;
- ensuring that their environment is as calm and stress-free as possible, even when your world isn't;
- count your blessings together. Once you start counting, you may find there are many more than you thought there were;
- teach them the importance of being responsible;
- be a good role model for your children;
- have a positive attitude and show a happy face in their presence;
- be supportive to them at all times. Let them know they can depend on you;
- ensure their well-being by keeping them safe;
- provide them with their emotional needs;
- put 'I love you' notes or 'I'm thinking of you' notes in their lunch bag or knapsack;
- tell them often that you love them. Children can never hear this too often;
- read or sing to your child;
- praise them often;
- give them lots of hugs, kisses and good attention;
- give them encouragement when it's needed;
- snuggle together and watch a movie;
talk to and listen to them;
- spend as much time with them as possible;
- ensure that they have adequate sleep;
- do fun things together, i.e.: go to the water park, spend a day at the beach, go for a walk, have a picnic, take day trips, play tourist in your own city or get out and enjoy nature. There are many free things to do that children can enjoy;
- play a game together, i.e.: kick around a soccer ball, do board games, etc.;
- bake cookies together;
- make special dinners for your child so that he can feel important or take him for lunch;
- do a craft project together;
- learn something together, i.e.: sign language, play the piano or learn about birds or sea life, etc.;
- let them know how much you appreciate them and how much you enjoy their company.

It is particularly important for your child to feel loved when being a single parent is a new situation. When we have newly separated, our children should be primary in our concerns, not meeting another partner. Any time spent searching for someone new or getting to know another person takes time away from our children at a time when they need our attention the most.

It is also a good time to get to know your children and appreciate the special people they are.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Putting Together a Photo Collage - A Great Gift Idea

Doing your own photo collage can be fun and entertaining. Collages can be done traditionally or by downloading any one of the many templates which are available online. The following are ideas on how to do collages in the traditional way:

Begin by using construction or scrapbook paper which you can attach your pictures to to form the beginnings of your collage. This can be done by abutting each picture or by cutting pictures in the shape of puzzles pieces and fitting them together as you would when you are doing a puzzle. Pictures can also be cut out to leave no background and either put on to a background of your choice such as a scenery or in front of a favorite car, a restaurant, your home, a scene such as the Alps or the Eiffel Tower or from any trip you may have taken. Pictures can also be placed haphazardly on any of the backing papers.

There are wide varieties of scrapbook paper available along with large assortments of decorative pieces at any hobby or craft store. These can be added to each page along with other contrasting items such as feathers, fabric, tin foil, tissue paper, pressed flowers or pressed autumn leaves to give a dimensional appearance. For one collage a person could use several different types of background paper and photos can be in a variety of sizes and shapes. Using the same photos, you could have a different gift for each person on your list.

Clippings can be used from magazines or newspapers also. Words can be cut from various sources or you can do your own on your computer experimenting with different fonts and font sizes. Try tearing the edges or singeing the edges of your pictures with a lighter flame to give an interesting effect. Because collages are usually more attractive when there is texture, a variety of mediums can be used. In a collage of wedding pictures, part of the guest list could be added or pressed flowers from the bride's bouquet. In a collage for a young girl's graduation, a fan could be added. For the college graduate's collage, include the invitation or the event's program. When doing a collage for baby's first year include a small clipping on his or her hair.

Collages can be done for all sorts of occasions. Most friends and family members would be delighted to receive a collage that represents their special day such as their wedding, engagement party, the birth of their new baby, their birthday celebration or birthday pictures of someone close to them. It can be of your son's hockey play-offs, your brother playing in a soccer tournament, your daughter's ballet, your mother's seventy-five birthday party, photos of the first birthday celebration of your baby for the grandparents, pictures of your trip to Greece or a sailing trip. You can capture and record special times in your life such as your Christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving family celebrations by making a collage for all your family members. Collages can also be made of various scenery you have taken in places you have visited.

Collage comes from the French word coller which means to glue. Glue sticks might be sufficient for photos or any paper additions but for anything with texture, you may require a white glue.

There is no limit to what collage theme you can choose to do or how you wish to place your photographs or decorate the collage. As you work on your collage, you will come up with many ways of doing it. Even when using the same pictures, depending on what mediums you have to add to your collage, you can have several different effects.

The only thing that will limit the type of collage you can do will be your imagination. Good luck and have fun.

How Can You Help a Baby Crawl?

How can I help my baby crawl and when can I expect my baby to crawl are questions of concern for new parents. If, as a new parent, we are concerned that our baby does not seem to be crawling as early as we think they should, we can help them with this developmental milestone.

Since the Back to Sleep campaign which began in 1994, encouraging parents to put their babies on their backs to sleep so as to reduce the risk of SIDS, babies often don't crawl as early as they once did. It is suspected that the reason for this is that some babies spend very little time on their tummies. It is this tummy time that helps to encourage crawling so it is important to give your baby as much time on their tummies as possible.

Some babies, because of too little tummy time, skip crawling altogether. They instead will begin to pull themselves up, as their strength allows, will stand and hold onto things, and eventually will walk when they are ready, completely bypassing the crawling stage.

As for crawling, babies do this in many different ways. There is the traditional crawl on hands and knees and usually begins between six and ten months. Some will also do the bottom shuffle or will slide on their stomachs, pulling themselves along with their arms to get where they want to go, and some will walk on all fours as my daughter did, not using her knees at all. And often they will begin to move backwards before they get the forward motion happening.

Some of the ways to encourage your baby to crawl are:

- Lay baby on his tummy with a soft but firm cylindrical-shaped object under the upper portion of his body for support so he can get a good view of his surroundings from the tummy position.
- Put baby on his tummy and lie on the floor in front of your child and talk, sing and amuse him. Perhaps hold a toy that he is interested in trying to reach.
- When baby is lying on the floor on his tummy, put his arms and legs in the crawl position and put brightly colored toys on the floor in front of him. When one of my sons was ten months old and had shown no interest in crawling, I put the budgie cage on the floor in front of him. The budgies were his motivator.
- Sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you. Lay baby across your legs with his upper body on one side of your legs and his lower body on the other. This position will encourage him to try and get over your legs.
- Lay a bath towel on the floor and place baby tummy down across the width of the towel. Pick up the ends and raise until baby's hands and knees touch the floor encouraging him with some of his weight on the floor and a brightly colored toy on the floor in front of him to reach for.
- Get a colorful floor/play mat for baby to have his tummy time on. Many of them have areas that squeak or crunch and have various textures that babies like. When he becomes familiar with the different things on the mat, his curiosity will encourage him to reach for them.
- One thing I found very good and which takes advantage of a baby's natural curiosity is placing a mirror in front of, but out of reach of your baby. Curiosity will encourage him to move towards the other baby.
- Keep in mind also that babies love bright colors, toys that roll, ones with visual stimulation and those that are musical.

If your baby is still not inclined to crawl, he may just be waiting for the walking stage. I believe that the personality of babies also have a bearing on their readiness. My son who didn't crawl until he was over ten months, didn't walk until he was fifteen months. And today he has a peaceful nature and is an easy-going person.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Family Fun With Games

Playing games together is not only fun but it is a good means for families to create a tight bond and establish long lasting memories. Having a family game night encourages communication while having fun.

When having a family game night, plan a special dinner beforehand and possibly pick a different family member's favorite recipe each time. And while games are being played, provide finger-food treats such as suitable appetizers, chips, dip and nibblers.

Also, when planning a game night with family, it will be important to pick games appropriate to the age of any children that may be attending. If there is a big range in ages, it is a good idea to play games that young children will be interested in and then play games that are suitable for those who are older after the younger ones are in bed.

Some of the games that young children enjoy are memory card games, matching card games, board games that encourage early math learning in a fun way, as well as early reading cards that are in a game format. Another game children like is Statues. Play some music suitable for children and periodically stop it, having children freeze and become statues when the music stops.

For older children, and the adults in the family, there are such games as Sorry, Operation, Pictionary, Concentration, Go Fish and Balderdash. The game of Balderdash is a particular favorite for my family and we always enjoy a lot of laughs when we play it.

For those who want to get up and be active, there is Twister, Charades and Wii interaction games. And for those who want to test their brain skills, include such games as Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, Clue, Jenga, Scattegories, Yahtzee, Uno and Rummoli. There are a lot of card games also that are a lot of fun such as Hearts. Hearts is another one of our favorite games to play as a family.

When the weather is nice, there are outdoor games that can be played together as a family which can include even the young children. These can be ones such as Bocci Ball, croquet and badminton. Another idea is to get a game of scrub baseball together if your family is large enough or organize your own sports day and have challenging racing competitions. Some of these races could include carrying an egg on a spoon, the three-legged race, hopping with a ball between your knees or relays, if you have a large family group.

Having family game nights encourages family communication and closeness that will increase as the children grow older. Most of our game nights follow dinners for birthdays or in the evening on New Years Day. Another popular time for us to play family games is when we have our annual family vacations which usually includes several family groups within the family. The children in the family look forward to our game nights.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Games to Play at Get-Togethers

There are many games to play at parties and get-togethers. Some are specifically oriented to couples but all are definitely guaranteed to be great at encouraging people to mingle within a group. This is especially true if some are strangers to each other. I have used several of the the following games at my own parties and everyone always enjoys them.

- Write the names of famous couples and when guests arrive, attach one name to the back of each person. Each guest can ask other guests yes or no questions in an attempt to guess the name of the person on their back.
- Each person writes down ten things that their partner particularly loves, would like to do, or hates and then have the opposite partner say whether the list is correct or not. The couple with the most matches wins.
- When guests arrive, each person is given a name tag and each guest can ask others questions, hoping for a no answer. If they get a no answer, they can take their name tag. The one who ends the evening with the most name tags wins.
- Limbo is always a good game. Two people hold a pole and guests try to go under it by bending backwards. After each guest has gone under the pole, it can continue to be lowered until there is only one person remaining who is still able to go under the pole.
- A hula hoop competition is another fun game. Who of your guests can do it the longest?
- Each guest gets a turn to think of the name of a famous person while other guests ask questions that will only have yes or no answers as they try to guess who the famous person might be.
- Make up a list of scruple-type questions to ask your guests. It quickly becomes clear what each person's beliefs are. Some examples are: a) Would you let your teenage daughter's boyfriend sleep overnight in her room? b) Would you smoke pot with your teenager? c) Would you lie to your best friend? d) Would you pretend to be sick so you could take the day off from work? e) If you were given too much change by a cashier, would you give it back? f) Do you blame other people for your mistakes? g) Would you offer to help someone move even if they hadn't asked you to assist them? h) Would you drink and drive?
- Blindfold each of the men in the group and have them touch each of the women guest's hands until they have been able to identify the hands of their partner. Another variety of the same game would be to have each man identify his partner's legs, if only the legs can be seen, i.e.: the women hide behind a curtain with only their legs visible.
- Interactive Wii is always fun too.
- There are several word board games available too. We have one we play often and it is always good entertainment.

I have used several of these games at get-togethers. Most of them encourage people to interact and they make laughter a large part of the evening. Try some of the games at your next get-together and I know you'll have fun.