Funeral Services and Celebrations of Life

There are many ways of having a service following the loss of a loved one. They can be small Celebrations of Life held in a family member's home, a quiet memorial or a more formal funeral service held in a chapel.

The Celebrations of Life and the quiet memorials usually follow a cremation. When there is an interment, there is usually more formality. Fifteen years before my mother passed, she had made arrangements, including what she wanted written on her tombstone, and including paying for a large portion of her service. This made the decisions that I had to make, as her Executor, much easier. She had even decided on the funeral home where she wanted her service held.

By going the route we did, they took care of everything with the only decision to be made was relating to the food at the reception following and procuring and meeting with a Pastor for the service. He did a wonderful job of making what could have been a very solemn and mournful occasion into one we know our mother would have wanted. He allowed us to have songs from the Sound of Music movie played instead of the usual music that usually completely undoes most people.

For some, this may be a difficult area depending on the religious level of the family but particularly on the religious or non-religious beliefs of the deceased. We are a spiritual family but not regular church-goers so we asked for a service that was not heavy on religion. The Pastor struck a wonderful happy medium. His meditation was A Life Worth Remembering, Proverbs 31:10-31 and the two hymns were I Come to the Garden Alone and Amazing Grace as well as my mother's favorite music. And a couple of Eulogies were given to honor her followed by a reception and a graveside service attended by the family.

This type of service was my mother's choice but for many it will not be an option. There is a huge cost both emotionally and financially in going this route. A quiet memorial held in someone's home is gaining in popularity following a cremation. There is often some speeches and a lot of reminiscing about the departed person. The cost is not exorbitant and emotional strings are not being pulled when decisions are required to be made and guilt placed on the family members to have a nice service for their lost loved one. Fortunately this was not the case with my mother but in most cases, this is not so.

A Celebration of Life is not for mourning a death, it is to happily remember that person. It is a good opportunity to make suggestions of how to keep the memory of your loved one alive. In our family, we have decided that every year we will continue to have a birthday celebration on our mother's birthday. Each year her birthday celebration was a day she eagerly looked forward to more than any other day of the year. We will continue to honor this for her.

Although most of the decisions had been made by our mother, the ones we had to make were made with the knowledge of what we knew she would have wished. It was the last thing we could do for our mother as we said goodbye to her for the last time.