Relationship Decisions - How To Make Them

Many decisions within a relation are difficult to make; one particularly would be the question of whether to stay or to leave a relationship.

It is important to rationally make a decision rather than to make one in anger or without thinking through the consequences of your actions. The following are some ideas on how to do it.

- Begin with a pro and con list of the relationship.
- Based on the list, determine what the main problem or problems are.
- Determine what the causes of the problems are.
- Decide what the possible solutions could be to the problem.
- Make a pro and con list on each potential solution to determine which one would be the best method of action.
- Are there any possible alternatives?
- Have a very definite view of what your goals are before making your decision.
- Know all your facts, what you will be faced with and what the fall-out of your decision will be.
- Be objective when making a decision.
- Make a decision based on knowledge and foresight not emotions.
- After the decision has been made based on the best action towards a solution then,
just do it!

When difficult decisions are life-altering, we will always second-guess ourselves and our motives so the above decision-making process is important to follow.

The following are interesting quotes regarding decision making.

‘The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is to decide what you want.’ - Ben Stein

‘Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.’ - Napoleon Bonaparte

When my five children were young, I made the decision to leave my husband based on what was best for them. I deliberated long and hard before I made my final decision. I did not, however, have a good follow-up plan for after I had left. I ‘flew by the seat of my pants’ which is not something I would ever suggest anyone do, with or without five small children. I was determined that I was not going to go on social assistance so with perseverance and my Taurus stubbornness, we made it by working together as a united family. But based on my experience, I would always recommend having a good total plan before taking a step of major consequence.

I thought the following quote was something to remember when making a decision:
‘Sometimes you make the right decision and sometimes you make the decision right.’ - Dr. Phil

But once a decision has been made after much soul searching and thought, it will feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, no matter what the final decision will have been.