Single Parents - Dating Again

Dating as a newly single parent is not as simple as dating when you are single and have no children. As a parent, what you do affects not only yourself but your children as well.

What should you consideration before you make the decision to begin dating again?

- Initially seek new friends, male or female, not dates. New friends will enrich both your children's, as well as your own life, with new activities and experiences.
- Keep your married friends as well as increase your single friends.
- Enjoy your children and take the opportunity to do more things as a family to help your children through the loss of their parent not being there. It is important to put your children first.
- When you make plans with old and new friends, do some things on your own but include your children in many of your activities so they don't feel abandoned.
- Keep communication open with your children. Before you begin to date again, prepare your children and explain to them that when people are adults, they like to have friends of the opposite sex.
- Before you begin dating, know what you want. And have a very clear idea of what you don't want, i.e.: someone who drinks too much or smokes, etc.
- Enter the dating scene slowly. Don't jump into a new relationship; take time to enjoy time spent by yourself and with your children.
- Don't be desperate and attach yourself to another relationship that may not be good for yourself or your children. Finding another mate doesn't have to be, and shouldn't be, the first thing on your to do list.
- Don't start dating for the wrong reasons, i.e.: your friends have bullied you into it, your ex spouse is dating or because you want to show others how attractive you are.
- Don't bring a new person home to meet your children unless you feel it will be a serious relationship. Bringing home a series of new people will confuse your children.
- Before introducing anyone new to your children, make sure you know a lot about them and preferably have met their friends.
- When you do decide to introduce a new person to your children, to so as a friend first. Let children get to know the new person and feel comfortable with them before there are sleepovers.
- Be patient and let your children warm up to the new person.
- Although it is good to listen to your heart, it's important also to listen to your brain and make sure that common sense takes precedence.
- Don't view someone you've met with star-struck eyes – consider whether this person is a good fit in your family and not someone to replace feelings of loneliness. Having a new person in your life is not necessarily a prescription for happiness. Happiness has to come from within.
- When bringing someone into your life, as a parent it will be important that he/she truly likes children, is kind, patient and has no anger issues.
- A new someone in your life should not discipline your children.

Although it is not easy to date as a single parent, by being patient and weeding through the unsuitable and having common sense, there is a good chance of finding the perfect match for you and your children.