We Love Our Families But Do We Like Them?

We love our family because they're family. But why is it that some families don't like each other? There are reasons for this and there are ways to remedy it so that you can make your family your friends.

This was recently pointed out to me by a friend when she commented on how different her life was from mine – that my family spends time together doing things and she only sees her son every three or four months. She said it was like that in her family of origin too. They loved each other because they were family but they didn't like each other and did not choose to do things together.

This came as a shock to me because in my family we are friends too. We take holidays together, do day trips, keep in close contact by phone, have regular family events and as my daughter says, she considers me to be her best friend. Why then are there families who do not like each other?

There are many reasons why members within a family may not be close. One friend has two brothers that she is close to but who are not close to each other. One in particular is very jealous and envious of the other and over the years has become very bitter towards him. Another friend is not close to her son because she does not like his wife and so has chosen to distance herself from them. In both of these cases communication and compromise would have no doubt helped the situations.

Although most people realize that they often don't like what they don't know, perhaps lack of communication within families is part of the problem. How do you get to know each other if you don't interact by communicating. Another reason could be not having similar interests. Developing common interests would help families become closer so they can get to know each other better. It would also help to become interested in what others in your family are doing and treat them as you would a friend. This is different than having similar interests. For families to like each other, it is important to look for the positive things in each person rather than only the negative. Laughing together is important; it creates enjoyment of each others company. Playing games together encourages families to spend time together to get to know each other. As a family we often play games together and have for years. Some of our favorites are Scruples, Scrabble, Balderdash and Hearts.

From personal experience I can only say that liking your family, enjoying them and spending time with them increases the amount of friends you have. And none of us can have too many friends.