More Dads Doing Diaper Duty - Fathers Taking Parental Leave

Fathers, as the stay-at-home parent, are becoming much more common in the last few years partly as a result of the increased earning power of women in the workforce and secondly because fathers are taking a more active interest in the rearing of their children.

Although fathers taking paternity leave is becoming much more common, according to my research, only one in ten men in Canada take parental leave to be home with their babies, with the exception of Quebec where the practise is much more common. Almost half of fathers in Quebec take advantage of paternity leave; as well as many German, Swedish, Norwegian and Finnish fathers who also opt to stay home with their children.

As one father said, 'It is an excellent way for fathers to bond with their cvhildren. It is an amazing experience for fathers - one that women have had for years - of watching first smiles, first roll-overs, first-time sitting up, crawling and walking; not to mention all the other firsts there are in a young child's first year of life. It is not as exciting to hear it from someone else as it is to see it for yourself'.

As every stay-at-home mother knows, special bonding is more likely to happen when you're around for all the subtle changes that are missed when the baby is only seen in the evening when both the child and parent are tired from an already full and busy day.

If this eventually becomes a common practise with fathers sharing parental leave, perhaps we may start hearing children call 'dad' as often as they call 'mom'. Or children, when they've had a bump will say, 'I need a daddy hug' instead of runing past dad to mom to be consoled. (Interestingly, two out of my three sons, who have children, have opted to do shared parental leave).

The initial adjustment in becoming parents to a newborn is much easier when it is shared and doesn't fall on one parent only. When a new father becomes the primary caregiver of a new baby, it is an eye opener regarding how much time is involved in caring for a small baby. There is a song about tough men becoming marshmallows when they have children. This is even more the situation when men become their child's full-time caregiver. They don't just see their child's cranky times when they get home from work and the child is ready for bed; they experience all the wonderful times there are to enjoy with their children throughout the day.

Why do some fathers not make paternity leave an option?

There can be many reasons. One of the main ones is because financially it may not be feasible to do so. Other reasons are that there is no interest in doing so; they are not emotionally motivated to do so; or they don't receive support from superiors or colleagues (this could be because it may not be considered the manly thing to do by some men). There may also be varying assumptions and expectations between spouses relating to childcare and financial responsibilities.

My son and daughter-in-law believe strongly that one parent should stay home with their child for the first few years. Because my daughter-in-law's income is higher, my son is the stay-at-home parent for their two year old daughter. This has worked very well for them. My daughter-in-law enjoys her job and after working towards her Masters does not want to give up what she enjoys doing. And my son appreciates the opportunity to develop a strong relationship with his daughter.

For those fathers who have chosen the path of stay-at-home dad, most are happy they made the decision to do so.