A Simple Choice?

While doing my will, my lawyer asked what should have been a simple question, “Do you wish to be cremated or buried?”

Not liking either idea, I considered my options. An idea began to form.

“I could be stuffed,” I said presenting the idea to my five offspring. None were impressed. “Think of the opportunities. I could attend all the family functions. I could share your lives. I really can’t think of anything nicer!”

They obviously could because not one jumped to say they would take me first. In fact, not one said they would take me, period. Each one insisted that while it may be a good idea (although they weren’t convinced), someone else could keep me. How could they not want me when they loved me? I soon learned that love me they do but decline me they did.

Undaunted I mulled over my idea. Hinged knees and elbows would be a necessity. They must never let my hair go grey. But most important, don’t let me miss anything. They know how I hate to miss a good party.

But I was fighting an uphill battle. I decided to convince the grandchildren that a ‘stuffed’ me would be great to have around. There was no success in that area either. A ‘stuffed’ me did not seem to appeal to anyone except me. If nothing else, I should be a conversation piece right up there with ownership of a Wayne Gretzky hockey puck. But Wayne Gretzky’s hockey puck won hands down.

I began to hear rumblings that I may be stuffed in a closet (not exactly my idea of being stuffed), if I persisted with my notion. I was rethinking my idea when my grandson suggested that it might be a good idea after all. They could put me out beside the garbage cans to help keep the crows away.

Now back to that simple question.