The Joys and Concerns of Motherhood

No matter how old your children are, you will always be a mother and you will always worry. When they are grown, you will love them as much as when they were babies and although your role changes, your love does not.

When our children are very young, we worry about their safety, colds, flu, measles, falls and about how they're getting along in school. We are concerned about who their friends are, the kind of marks they're getting, are they happy, do they seem too quiet, are they getting enough exercise and are they eating well? Are we able to give them what we didn't have and are we spending enough time with them? Our worries are endless while raising our children hoping we're being the best parents possible but knowing that we're doing the best we can.

When our children become adults, we still worry about them. Are they happy in their relationships, are they working too hard, do they like their jobs? But as mothers of adult children, our role has changed. We don't have the same involvement except to let them know we are always there for them, to be a listening ear and to be supportive when necessary.

I raised five children on my own from when the youngest was five years old. During those early years I suffered many doubts about the job I was doing while they were growing up. I worried that I didn't have enough money to get them the clothes and shoes some of their friends had. It bothered me that they didn't get to go on trips like some of their friends experienced. It troubled me that in some ways I felt they were deprived even though we always had a house, food and all the necessities. And my children always knew they were well loved. There was always an abundance of that in our house.

My children are grown now and although as teens they complained about not having everything their friends had, I look around at my family who are all there for every family celebration, who each call me several times a week, whose children I see almost every week and I can feel the love they have for me. So although I felt guilty while they were growing up that I wasn't able to give them everything they would've liked, and probably didn't spend as much time with them as they wanted, they haven't held it against me.

Being a mother is not an easy job as we carry a heavy load of guilt, doubt and worry on our shoulders. But at the same time it can come with an awful lot of perks in that we have these wonderful children to enjoy and love.

As a mother, I think it is the best thing in the world to be. When they're little and you feel them snuggle into your arms, see their faces light up when they see you at the end of a day, hear their giggles, see their smiles and enjoy the simplicity of a child and how little things set their world right, i.e.: to read them a book, sing them a song, play with them at their level and to be able to enjoy lots of hugs and kisses. When they're older, there is the enjoyment of having discussions with them, enjoying their friendship and marveling at the person they've become.

I'd never trade motherhood for any amount of money or power. My children are my wealth and they give me the power to feel blessed.