Living to Be One Hundred Years Old

More and more people, women in particular, are living to be one hundred years old and older. Studies are being done to determine why some people do and others do not.>p> Through studies done on centarians, it is believed that those who do live the longest are largely those who are independent, outgoing and curious about the world around them. They are generally not the grudge holders of our world. Many continue to live on their own or at least without requiring daily care for nursing. They remain active and continue to have many friends that they spend time with. They are open-minded and go with the flow. And they are optimistic. Their glass is always half full. There is no half empty glass sitting on their table. They don't obsess over small set-backs that they have no control over. Most centarians also seem to have preserved their cognitive abilities.

Many tend to have a diet high in vegetables and fruit with some fish but little meat. Most also have remained active with at least moderate exercise even if it just going for regular daily walks.

Genetics can play a part, i.e.: having parents or other family members who have had heart problems, high blood pressure, cholesterol, a history of cancer, diabetes or other health issues. But you do control your diet, how much exercise you get and how socially active you are. Do you allow yourself to become isolated? Do you get out with other people, see family, keep in touch with grandchildren, keep yourself aware of worldly events and learn new things? Do you try to keep your brain active by reading, doing crossword puzzles or discussing local and world politics?

Cities generally have more centarians because there are better doctors, hospitals, opportunities to socially network, more resources, better transportation, more facilities for mental stimulation and more cultural experiences available. And generally those with a higher education tend to live longer. United States has approximately 53,364 centarians with Japan having 51,376, both leading the way world-wide.

The following are also things that might indicate your longevity: if your mother had you when she was under 25 years old; if you have made a habit of drinking tea, without milk, but especially green tea; that you walk approximately thirty minutes per day; that you have made it a habit to avoid drinking sodas; have kept a healthy weight and done regular exercises; eaten purple foods, particularly blueberries; avoided red meat and deli processed meats; have not smoked; have close friends not just acquaintances; been self-disciplined and organized; set personal goals; have a positive outlook on life and a sense of purpose. It is also important to do exercises that increase your lower body strength. Also, studies indicate that if you were overweight at fourteen years old, you have a higher chance of developing type 2 diabetes in adulthood.

There are approximately 450,000 centarians world-wide. Currently the oldest person alive at 114 years lives in Japan. According to studies, there is an indication that longevity seems to run in families.

The Older Child and the New Baby

It's important that the older child doesn't feel pushed out when the new baby arrives. Babies automatically get a lot of attention for many reasons. These should be explained to the older child.

A two-year old child will have more difficulty adjusting than older children will because their needs are still great. And trying to make a two-year old understand how much care a baby requires will also be difficult for them to grasp. This is particularly true if they have been called 'baby', are still in a crib and possibly may even continue to be having a bottle.

Children should be prepared well before the birth of a new baby. They should be told early, be put into a big boy/girl bed well before the baby is born if they are still in a crib, be weaned from the bottle if they still have one and be reminded what a big boy/girl they are. They can be encouraged to be a big helper when the new baby arrives and the benefits of being an older brother or sister could be pointed out to them.

It will be important for them to have been included in the preparations for the arrival of the new baby. Perhaps they could help prepare the room for the new baby in ways they are capable of, even if it is just helping to place a book or toy. They may wish to 'lend' their new baby brother or sister one of their stuffies until he/she gets toys of their own. They may also want to sing or talk to their new baby brother or sister before they are born. This will help them feel more connected to the baby.

They can be part of the process in preparing for the new baby. Ways that this can be done is they can help choose the clothes the baby will wear home from the hospital, and what clothes they will wear to meet their new brother or sister. Getting a gift that they can give to the new baby will be a good idea as will getting a gift that the new baby can 'give' to the older child. When my second child was born, I gave my daughter a doll so she'd have a baby of her own to fuss over. As each of the other children were born, I gave appropriate gifts to all of the older children.

Reading books with the older child, or children, or watching videos about the arrival of a new baby or about being a big brother or sister also helps. Of course a child's personality will have a lot to do with how they will adjust and react to the new baby. Also, the age of the child when a new baby arrives on the scene will make a difference too.

Be aware of the older child's feelings. Does he/she feel that mommy or daddy love the new baby more. If this is the case, extra time should be spent with the older child so they don't feel like they've been replaced by the new addition.

It is very important that the older child accepts and welcomes the new baby. If not this could cause problems between the two siblings in the future. If they feel that the new baby usurped their position in the family, they will feel resentment. However, if they feel just as important as they always did, they will happily welcome the new addition.

The Joys and Concerns of Motherhood

No matter how old your children are, you will always be a mother and you will always worry. When they are grown, you will love them as much as when they were babies and although your role changes, your love does not.

When our children are very young, we worry about their safety, colds, flu, measles, falls and about how they're getting along in school. We are concerned about who their friends are, the kind of marks they're getting, are they happy, do they seem too quiet, are they getting enough exercise and are they eating well? Are we able to give them what we didn't have and are we spending enough time with them? Our worries are endless while raising our children hoping we're being the best parents possible but knowing that we're doing the best we can.

When our children become adults, we still worry about them. Are they happy in their relationships, are they working too hard, do they like their jobs? But as mothers of adult children, our role has changed. We don't have the same involvement except to let them know we are always there for them, to be a listening ear and to be supportive when necessary.

I raised five children on my own from when the youngest was five years old. During those early years I suffered many doubts about the job I was doing while they were growing up. I worried that I didn't have enough money to get them the clothes and shoes some of their friends had. It bothered me that they didn't get to go on trips like some of their friends experienced. It troubled me that in some ways I felt they were deprived even though we always had a house, food and all the necessities. And my children always knew they were well loved. There was always an abundance of that in our house.

My children are grown now and although as teens they complained about not having everything their friends had, I look around at my family who are all there for every family celebration, who each call me several times a week, whose children I see almost every week and I can feel the love they have for me. So although I felt guilty while they were growing up that I wasn't able to give them everything they would've liked, and probably didn't spend as much time with them as they wanted, they haven't held it against me.

Being a mother is not an easy job as we carry a heavy load of guilt, doubt and worry on our shoulders. But at the same time it can come with an awful lot of perks in that we have these wonderful children to enjoy and love.

As a mother, I think it is the best thing in the world to be. When they're little and you feel them snuggle into your arms, see their faces light up when they see you at the end of a day, hear their giggles, see their smiles and enjoy the simplicity of a child and how little things set their world right, i.e.: to read them a book, sing them a song, play with them at their level and to be able to enjoy lots of hugs and kisses. When they're older, there is the enjoyment of having discussions with them, enjoying their friendship and marveling at the person they've become.

I'd never trade motherhood for any amount of money or power. My children are my wealth and they give me the power to feel blessed.

Early Development in Young Children

There are many things that can enhance early development in young children. As parents it is important that we know what they are in order to increase our children's chances for a successful life.

To begin with, breastfeeding is good for baby's brains and for their health. It will help prevent childhood obesity, help to ensure they have better teeth, improve their jaw alignment, lower their risk of heart disease, juvenile diabetes, multiple sclerosis, asthma and allergies, and help to prevent diseases such as Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis and some childhood cancers. It will also assist in their general well-being. Studies indicate that breastfeeding for a minimum of six months, if possible, can help with a child's emotional function and cognition. Indications are also that the longer a baby is breastfed, the higher their levels of school readiness there will be.

But other things help as well. The younger a baby is read to, the more aware parents are of their young child's emotional cues and their own responses to them, the higher cognitive levels their child will have. Breastfeeding, reading to your baby and being emotionally responsive to your young child will increase bonding between mother and child. However, this bonding can also be as easily achieved between a child and their father if the same things are done. (With the exception of the breastfeeding, of course).>p> Other things that will have a bearing on a child's readiness for school, their cognitive abilities and their IQ will be whether the mother, while pregnant, has been exposed to pollutants, i.e.: lead, mercury, car exhaust or pesticides. The mother's diet while pregnant will make a difference also. Birth order can have a bearing as well. A parent usually has more time to give extra attention to a first born child; to read or play games with them than they do with subsequent children thereby stimulating their cognitive development.

Also those children who had more junk food or processed foods in their diets when they were young will not fare as well. And those who were physically punished creating more stress in their lives will have their cognitive development impacted. Genetic factors passed on to each baby at birth will determine brain size and IQ both negatively and positively. As well, their parents' income and education will make a difference. Also whether a child has been in a day care environment or been raised by a parent or a close family member. Those who have not been in a daycare environment will generally have a better advantage because more one on one time will likely have been spent with them.

As parents it is our responsibility to do the best we can for our children to help set them on the best road for a happy and successful life.

Helping Out When Your New Grandchild is Born

As a grandparent, there are many things you can do to help out when a new grandchild is born. For each one, the need may be different depending on the particular circumstances.

When my first grandchild was born, I cooked meals ahead and put them in the freezer so cooking wasn't an issue for the first week or so. However, it is best to ask first. Some people prefer their own style of cooking. When this particular grandchild was born, I also bought a fiscus plant. She is fourteen years old now and the plant is nearly as tall as she is. (However, plants may not always be welcome either).

When my second grandchild was born, I looked after the baby so that the parents could get some much needed sleep. Also, when it was decided that nursing wasn't the success the new mother had hoped for, I picked up formula and bottles, sterilizing the bottles and then making up some formula. And when their next child was born, I looked after both children so that the tired parents could catch up on their sleep. Although we all know that after the birth of a new baby it takes a lot more than that to be caught up.

When the third grandchild was born, both were uncomfortable with bathing the new baby so I gave the first bath and suggested that they could sponge bath the new arrival until they felt more comfortable handling her. I also, in this case too, looked after the baby while they caught up on their sleep. Sleep deprivation is a common problem with new parents and can make what really is a small problem seem monumental.

When the next grandchild is born, I'm sure my role will be to take the older child to karate and piano classes and pick her up from school and I will likely spend extra time with her so she doesn't feel left out. I'm sure also that I will look after both children so their parents can get, as all new parents need, some uninterrupted sleep.

Sometimes with a new baby, first time parents just have to be reassured that things are going as they should be. Yes, babies most often initially wake up to be fed every two hours, especially nursed babies. Those babies that are being nursed often fall asleep before they're full as it is hard work compared to being fed with a bottle. But the benefits of being nursed are significant to the baby. And yes, some babies do cry more than others. They each have their own personalities just as grown-ups do.

Many new parents look for answers from their friends, who are also new parents searching for answers. As a grandparent it is wise not to offer unsolicited advice even though you have the advantage of having already raised children. If they come to you with a question, that is the time to offer your help. How the answer is worded will be as important as the answer, especially at a time when emotions are running on high.

The most important thing we can do as grandparents is to extend our offers of help. Some of our children will jump at the chance for a little assistance and others will want to manage on their own. That's their choice. But offering is key; at least they know that help is only a simple request away.

Preparing Your First Child for the Birth of a Second

Preparing your oldest child for the arrival of their sibling will depend upon his/her age. Toddlers generally have an easier time adjusting than will a child that is a little older. But in most cases, inclusion in the preparation process will be a positive factor in a child's acceptance of a new baby.

The older the first child is when the second one arrives, the more aware he/she will be of the differences a new member of the family will make to their own life. They will realize that they may not get as much attention. Almost right from the beginning there is excited talk about this new person who is joining the family. There is probably a room being readied for him/her and new things bought. They are not going to be the only one their parents dote on. Things will have to be shared like when a friend comes over only now it will be all the time. There will be crying and noise and things are going to be different. They will worry about how that is going to affect them.

My son and daughter-in-law are expecting their second child; their first is five years old. They have been preparing her by including her in the build-up to the new baby's birth. She was taken when they went for the ultrasound. She wasn't that interested but at least she didn't feel left out. She's had her new room for a while, painted in her favourite colours with a brand new bed. She has a new purple quilt for her bed and she's quite excited about it.

Her parents have involved her in planning the new baby's room. Her little sister will have her old baby furniture and she is willing to share some of her prize stuffies with the baby, at least until the new baby gets her own.

She feels the baby's movements and sings to her little sister. She also chose the baby's second name. She knows that I will be taking her to the hospital when the baby is due to be born, (it is to be a caesarean), so she can see the baby right away. She knows this new baby is her sister as much as she will be mommy and daddy's second daughter and that she has an important role in the new baby's life.

Although the birth is in one month, my granddaughter does not appear to be bothered by the thought of another child to share her mommy's and daddy's attention. My son said they would probably get her her own baby doll for when they come home from the hospital with the baby. I did this with my daughter, also my first, when I brought my first son home. She wasn't particularly interested in the doll, but nor did she seem to be bothered with the addition of a brother. She was two and a half at the time she became a big sister. At this age, it isn't such a big deal; they can't visualize the changes in their life that an older child can see.

I don't anticipate that there will be any problems with my granddaughter as she will probably be too busy to notice her life being impacted that much since she goes to full-day kindergarten, takes karate, piano and dance and if the status quo continues, it shouldn't cause her any undue stress. But for the child who isn't so busy, it would be helpful if there was a grandparent or other relative to spend extra time with them.

The first month or two will be the most difficult since that's when babies are the most demanding and parents are often sleep deprived. If there are other family members who can help at that time, it will make the transition for the older child and the new parents, that much easier.

But if there isn't a grandparent or relative, perhaps supply the older child with a new game, colouring books if they like to colour, play dough if they like to be creative or something that they are interested in but only they can do as the older sister or brother.

And it won't be long before no one in the family will be able to remember a time when the latest addition hadn't always been part of the family.

Cowboy or Cowgirl Sleepover Party - Guest Post by Ryan

Whether they dream of racing through the wide open plains on a stallion or bull wrangling on the ranch, a lot of kids go through a cowboy or cowgirl phase. You can turn this period into an amazing fun filled theme party with a few easy games, like broom stick barrel racing, a squirt gun sharp shooting competition, and of course a bit of lassoing! Here are some activities that you can plan out before you invite your child's friends to come over in their best denim, with bandannas, cowboy hats, and if you are making it a sleepover, some cowboy or girl themed fun kids pajamas By the end of the party everyone should be yelling "Hee-Haw"!

1. Broom Stick Barrel Racing

This activity will show off everyone's imaginary horse riding skills. All that you need to set it up is a broom stick and several large cones or piles of stacked empty boxes. In a backyard, driveway, or nearby park, arrange the cones or boxes in a tight course that the little ranch hands will have to race around. Here is the catch - they will have to complete it as quickly as possible without knocking over any of the cones or boxes. If they do knock anything over, they will receive a time penalty of 5 seconds. To make the course more difficult, you can add balloon 'rattle snakes'. Just get some long balloons and then put a few dozen dried beans in each one so they will rattle when shaken. You can tie these off after they are blown up and place them throughout the course. Whenever someone steps on the 'rattler' they will be 'bitten' and receive another time penalty of 3 seconds. The fastest rider can get a prize, like a toy harmonica or a sheriff's star for coming in first place.

2. Sharpshooting Contest

Any cowhand worth his or her salt will know how to shoot. This activity lets the kids show off their marksmanship skills and water guns. Beforehand, freeze a few small trinkets like cowboy toys or wrapped candy in small plastic containers. Then, right before the activity, remove the blocks of ice, or just place the containers so that the opening is facing the kids. Once everyone is ready, an adult can load up the water guns with warm, but not hot, water. An easy way to do this is just to run a bathtub faucet at a warm temperature to fill up the squirt guns. Only an adult should do this step to prevent kids from getting burnt. The objective of the game is to melt the ice cubes by squirting them with warm water until the toy or candy is completely free of them. Depending on how many water guns are available, the kids can go one at a time and see who is the quickest, or they can go against each other in a head-to-head competition.

3. Lassoing a Rocking Horse

If you have a rocking horse toy in the house, now is the time to bring it out. If not, you can use a cone from the barrel racing, a tee ball tee, or any other small pole that will stand up by itself - this will be the runaway stallion that needs to be lassoed. Then, get a hula hoop and attach a length of string to it. About 10 feet away (make the distance shorter for younger children or further for older) from the 'horse', mark a line that the cowboy kiddies will need to throw from. The next step is to divide the kids into two groups. Each member of their group must get the hula hoop around the horse, and if they miss, they have to pull the hula hoop back to their side of the line using the string and throw again. The group that has each member lasso the horse in the least amount of throws wins. If there is a tie, a fun thing to do can be to have a lasso off where one person from each team throws at a time. If both make it, then the 'horse' gets moved two feet further back and the next two people go. The first team to miss loses.

From roaming the ranges to lassoing wild steer, a cowboy's life sure does seem like a fun one. By throwing a cowboy or girl themed party with activities like broom stick barrel racing, ice cube marksmanship, and a lassoing competition, you can give your child and their friends a taste of what it would be like to be a cowboy. So tell your kids to saddle up and get ready to party!

Reviews of His Sins

WRITER'S DIGEST REVIEW OF HIS SINS:

'His Sins' spans three generations of a struggling family, focusing on the fate of the women who ally themselves with ambitious, emotionally distant, and selfish men. Ms. Behnish creates compelling, complex and intricate characters, particularly in the case of Elsa, who the reader follows from before birth until the cliffhanger ending. The social and political events of the time periods covered by this novel come into play in realistic plot twists and scenarios that help develop character and build tension. Each generation is convincingly drawn - they all have different ways of speaking, thinking, and navigating their worlds. It's quite impressive that Ms. Behnish was able to carry some of the concerns of the first generation into the third without making all of the characters similar.

REVIEW BY MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST

'His Sins' is a captivating novel about how some decisions have the capacity to withstand lifetimes and generations. We follow one man's decisions and see how the ripple effect lasts generations affecting not only his children, but his children's children, and their children also. It makes us think twice about the lives we lead, and the intentions we hold dear to our hearts. It warns us of our motivations and how they not only affect our own individual lives, but also the lives of those we love most, and even the lives of those we will never meet. 'His Sins' makes us remember that what we do is important, and what we feel is even more so.

Why Are Some Boomers Happily Retired While Others Are Not?

To many people, retirement is a shock and doesn't seem to be quite what they expected. Not having planned ahead, they don't know what to do with themselves. Time drags and they feel they have no purpose and wonder why they retired. This doesn't have to be the case.

Many realize after retirement that their social life was tied up with their professional life. This is particularly true of men who sometimes don't have close male friends. As a result they are lonely and have feelings of isolation. Planning for retirement is necessary for mental, psychological and financial reasons. But often people spend more time planning a two week vacation than they do for their retirement.

Crucial to retirement is to have a social network, a purpose, to continue lifelong learning and to have interests and/or hobbies. It will be vital to cultivate friends to do things with, i.e.: golfing, walks, playing bridge or just socializing. Social interaction is the main difference between enjoying retirement or not; or being happy, healthy and active.

Some delay retirement because of insufficient retirement funds, or at least the fear that there won't be enough money to live as they want to and perhaps be able to travel as well. Planning to be financially comfortable in retirement should be started young - in your late twenties or early thirties at the very latest.

The retirement phase of life is a different lifestyle. How do you handle leisure? Do you get bored easily? What can you do to derive satisfaction from your retirement years? Some couples find too much togetherness in their relationships can present problems. Both should develop their own interests. It is necessary to be involved in life so time doesn't drag. Those who are the most satisfied in retirement have found things to do outside the home that are meaningful to their life. And they are the ones who are maintaining a healthy lifestyle by being physically active.

For those who have planned for their retirement and are financially secure, travelling can be satisfying and educational. Travelling is being actively involved in life and it is meeting others who have similar interests. There are many different types of travel options - enough to meet all individual tastes and styles.

Others who have planned for their retirement and have looked forward to it, are enjoying a lifestyle where they have freedom and time to spend with their friends, to enjoy activities they previously had little time for such as pursuing educational interests, learning an instrument, a new language or becoming more physically active. Perhaps they have always wanted to run a marathon - maybe now is the time to do it. Possibly they wanted to volunteer, spend more time with grandchildren, write their memoirs, get involved in genealogy, plant a garden or have more time for reading. There is no limit to what you can do if you have the time to do it.

A successful retirement depends on being adequately prepared. It is also necessary to determine what you want to do in this phase of your life that will give you purpose. But before you take that step, ensure that you have a strong social network in place. After that, enjoy your retirement and all the things you'll be able to do with the extra time you have. Retirement should, and can be, a very happy phase in your life.

Boomers and Travel

Many boomers consider travel as part of life and not just a luxury. And for this reason, many travel often.

Boomers' parents saved their money to make their one big lifetime trip. But many boomers began travelling as students so now as experienced travellers, they look for exotic experiences. Many have already done what they consider the mundane, i.e.: exploring the United States, most likely by backpacking, so a bus trip across the States does not appeal. With a been-there-done-that type of attitude, they're now looking for adventure that is either challenging or at least intellectually stimulating.

Growing up with the attitude of being young forever and not wishing to trust anyone over thirty, many even now, don't want to associate with seniors or anyone older than themselves when travelling. They don't see themselves as old no matter what the calendar may say. They feel young and often act much younger than their chronological age. Their preference would be to travel with people younger rather than older than themselves.

When travelling, boomers want options where they can feel as if they have some control over their travel experience. They don't just want to sight-see, they want to sight-do like going gold panning, river rafting, on a safari, walking the high arch of the Harbour Bridge in Sydney or even bungee jumping, as one seventy year old recently did.

Boomers like luxury at a bargain price but with the assurance of good value. But there are also boomers who stay at hostels around the world. No longer is it just the youth who backpack; boomers are returning to the things they enjoyed in their youth. Perhps it is a denial on aging. And does it make any difference whether it is or not?

Boomers are travelling with friends, family or are taking their grandchildren on special trips. There are also theme trips such as golf holidays to specific areas, spa trips to luxury resorts, wine tasting trips or educational trips with the intention of learning a language through total immersion with the land and the people. There are also volunteerism trips where part of the trip is spent helping at a school or an orphanage, eco-tourism trips which includes nature and environmental excursions to see waterfalls and bird watching. Adventure travel is also popular which includes hiking, snorkeling, scuba diving and skiing. And of course, cruises have long been popular choices.

RV travel is popular with boomers also. It offers a variety of experiences, control about where you go and where you stay and allows complete flexibility. It is a free spirit way of travelling. It can be used as a home base for visiting historic sites, local points of interest and tourist attractions. It is a home on wheels without the necessity of packing your suitcase with every move you make.

As boomers redefined young adulthood and retirement, according to statistics they are also redefining the travel industry. Because of their numbers, their travel demands are determining what the industry offers. Boomers want new experiences, not the same-old, same-old. They are more interested in adventure and international travel than were their parents. They want educational and experiential travel, i.e.: a cargo ship cruise or a trip to the Galapagos. And many are looking at their bucket list when they consider places to travel.

Many boomers believe that 'To travel is to live' which is a quote by Hans Christian Andersen. And they are doing it in large numbers.

How to Be a Healthy and Active Boomer

When we look around, we can see that many boomers are leading healthy and active lives. They are growing older with a vitality that our parents didn't possess.

Boomers have redefined aging and retirement. They were the ones who redefined young adulthood and they're doing it again as seniors. Although some may find it necessary to accommodate their needs, they're not going to sit back and rock on the porch with their feet up.

Most take their well-being seriously and because of this they usually take care of their health by walking, playing golf, swimming, bicycling and although they may be taking ballroom dancing lessons instead of attending music extravaganzas such as Woodstock, they are active participants in life. Most also still have a sense of adventure and although they may continue to be risk takers, they keep caution in mind more seriously than their younger counterparts.

Boomers who were incredibly independent in their youth continue to be self-sufficient and now may garden, do canning or become involved in crafts. Or they may take yoga, do water exercises or join a walking group. But staying fit and being mentally active is high on the list for most boomers. They are also the ones who encourage the continuance of family traditions.

The majority of boomers are comfortable with a computer at least as far as having an e-mail address. And many have a cell phone. But there are also many who do search the net, are active on facebook and other social media sites and own other technology based paraphernalia such as an ipod. And since many boomers are single, there are those who have tried online dating. In general, socially their time is spent with close friends and family.

Statistically this generation is living longer than their parents or grandparents. Some of the ways to stay healthy are: - Do not smoke.

- Keep active by maintaining your strength, flexibility and cardiovascular abilities.

- Eat a balanced diet.

- Control your weight by eating properly and exercising.

- Get regular screenings. Women should have regular mammograms and pap tests and men should be checked for prostate cancer. Other screenings can include such things as a periodic colonoscopy, regular blood pressure checks and blood tests to check cholesterol levels.

- Protect yourself from the sun by using sunscreen.

- Have regular dental and hearing check-ups.

- Stay interested by continually learning something new - continue to challenge yourself.

- Get a pet (even if it's only fish). They won't exactly give you unconditional love but they are interesting to watch and much easier to leave when you travel (and there are no kennel fees).

- Travel as often as you are able.

- Get out amongst people and enjoy what life has to offer.

- Join a book club, a walking group or an environmentalist group - whatever interests you.

There's a song by Todd Hunter which says, 'Life is good, life is great, life is asking you to participate'. That is the best we can do to ensure that, as boomers, we remain healthy and active. Get out there and live; don't vegetate.

Boomers and the Advantages of Fish Oil

There are many advantages to fish oil for everyone but especially for Boomers. One of many studies done on fish oil indicates that it minimizes the effects of age-related muscle loss. Muscle loss can be combated with exercise but as we age, exercise alone won't maintain our muscles. In the study, women were tested doing twelve weeks of resistance exercise training as well as taking fish oil. Those taking the fish oil strengthened their muscles by twenty percent versus the eleven percent improvement with exercise only. Some of the reason for this is that fish oil also contains an anti-inflammatory quality. The omega3 found in fish oil helps muscles function at a higher level.

Another study published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition showed that those given an omega3 supplement had lowered their blood pressure and improved their cardiovascular by lowering their triglycerides and regulating their heart rhythmns. Fish oil can reduce the high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart problems and strokes experienced by many Boomers as they get older.

As Boomers age, Type 2 diabetes is also a threat, fast becoming almost an epidemic. It has been discovered there is a definite link between fish oil and diabetes prevention. Taking a daily supplement of fish oil will help, along with exercise, a proper diet and weight loss.

Omega3 is not only suspected of being effective for inflammation but also in helping to alleviate depression and to improve memory and concentration. It is also believed to help reduce the risk of cancer, especially those that are hormonal such as breast cancer. Fish oil is also believed to be an immune booster.

For those who have concerns about fish oil containing high levels of mercury or other contaminants, studies have shown that they are safe for use. It has been discovered that these contaminants are in the meat of the fish and not in the oil.

For those Boomers who have not exercised, eaten healthy diets, or looked after their health over the years and have slipped instead into sedentary lifestyles, it would be a let-down for them to look back at the vibrant youth they once were, who planned to conquer the world with great ideas and never thought they would ever be one of the 'old ones'.

We don't have to be! It is up to us and how we look after ourselves. We can change our lives at any time by simple lifestyle changes, by improving our diets, exercising, losing weight and including fish oil in our daily diets as many nutritionists suggest. By doing this, we are again taking charge of our own lives as we once did when we were younger. We don't have to wait and let life happen to us. We can be proactive in our health care choices and put off many of the diseases that come with aging.

I am one of the many Boomers who include fish oil in their daily diets. Taking a daily capsule, as I do, is one way but I also include other dietary foods that include fish oil like sardines, or foods that are omega3 enhanced such as free range eggs.

As Boomers, I believe very strongly in the importance of doing everything possible to stave off, as long as possible, any serious health problems, and adding a daily supplement of fish oil is one of the ways to hopefully do it.

The Boomer Generation - Getting Active

When Boomers get active, there is less likelihood of them experiencing psychological distress or serious health problems. And it ensures that there is a better chance of them remaining independent.

In previous generations, those in the Boomer age group did not lead active lifestyles. That is, unless they had been farmers, or were forced to work longer because of financial necessity. But those were not activities they enjoyed so the health benefits were not the same.

Nowadays, Boomers are becoming more and more active as they retire and have more time and often more money. They are taking up tennis, yoga, walking, hiking, swimming, kayaking and many other activities they may have previously yearned to do but had no time to experience and enjoy. These physical pursuits will not only increase their strength and mobility but will help with their general health as well. Exercise is not only good for the heart but for their mental health too. It is also a great way to socialize.

The more active Boomers become, the better health they will have, and the more physical abilities they will develop which in turn will help them to retain their independence for as long as possible. Besides being physically active, it will be important to be proactive in their medical care by taking the preventative measures of having regular check-ups and eating properly. Regular check-ups should include, for women, regular pap tests and mammograms, and for men, regular prostrate examinations. For both men and women, they should have regular dental examinations and an annual physical exam which should include blood tests and periodic blood pressure checks.

It is important also to retain a positive attitude and to keep in close contact with others. Besides physical activities, remaining socially active is very important and can be done by having pot luck dinners, playing cards and board games, bowling, starting a book club, going to the pool or the gym with a friend or getting together for a cup of coffee and a few laughs.

More and more Boomers are taking activity-related vacations which may include scuba lessons, fishing expeditions, riding a camel in Egypt or going on a walking excursion of Paris. Or they may decide to dance the night away on a Caribbean cruise, go on an African safari or swim with the dolphins in Mexico. And others may decide to go spelunking in any number of places, visit the Outback and the Great Barrier Reef in Australia or explore the wonders of nature on the Galapagos Islands.

Whatever Boomers decide to do, it should be activity oriented in order to maintain good health and to remain independent. If necessary, they should push themselves out of their comfort zone so as to increase their activity levels. Pushing yourself a little passed where you feel comfortable each time is a great way to build on the level of fitness you have already achieved. The desire of most, as they age, is to remain independent and this is the best way of doing it.

Grandparents and Step-Grandchildren

Is there a difference between biological grandchildren and step-granchildren? Although there shouldn't be, there are situations that can sometimes make it that way. The following will describe some of the ways why this may be the case.

One of the things that will make a difference is how old the child is when they come in to your life. If they were young, as my grandchild was at two years old, I can't see that there should be any difference. But if they are fifteen, it will probably be much more difficult for both you and the child. Children in their teens are not as quick to accept as a two year old is. Also there may be extenuating circumstances such as resentment of the biological parent's new family. This will not help to pave the way for a good grandparent/grandchild relationship.

Also, if they do not live with that biological parent, it makes it even more difficult for a grandparent to establish rapport with their new grandchild. Especially if the biological parent they do live with is negative about the child becoming too close to the new family, and particularly if it extends to a grandparent.

But whatever the relationship that the step-grandparent has been able to, or not been able to establish, it is absolutely necessary to treat all children equally. If a gift is bought for one, a gift must be given to all, and of equal value. It may be more difficult to be demonstrably affectionate with both biological grandchild and step-grandchild if the child is standoffish but some kind of an effort should be made. He may not want the affection initially but in time he may feel more willing to accept it. It will be important, however not to push yourself on a child until they are ready to accept you. In in any case overtures should be made even if it is just a pat on the hand, a squeeze on the shoulder and a smile. It will be important for them to feel that you consider them to be one of your grandchildren too. They should be included in any scheduled events or holidays instigated by the grandparent too. The decision may be theirs not to attend but the invitation should be sincerely given.

Another thing that will make a difference is the grandparent's relationship with the new spouse. The new spouse may discourage your involvement with their child or even, although hopefully not, your involvement in your biological grandchildrens' lives.

Being a grandparent can sometimes be a bit of a tightrope walk anyway, depending on the various relationships involved, but being a step-grandparent can be even more difficult with a new and older step-grandchild. The most important thing to remember when in this situation is to be fair, loving, accepting and interested in your new grandchild.

Having said that, love does take time to grow but it shouldn't take away from behaving in a loving way with the child. But being fair is the all-time important thing to remember. Children will pick up on unfairness immediately and it will be difficult to get on good footing with them if they have perceived your treatment has been unfair. Bottom line is, children are children no matter whose they are, and they all deserve to be treated equally and lovingly.

The Eight Stages of Life

The eight stages of life all have lessons and challenges, positives and negatives, that all contribute to shaping the people we become. What are these stages?

These stages are: infant, toddler, preschool, school age, young adult, middle adult and late adult. In each stage there are lessons and challenges, and knowing them can give us some control over our lives. If there are negative pre-stages, problems can develop later in life.

- The infant learns trust if he has been raised in a positive, nurturing environment. And distrust if he has not been fed when he's hungry, kept warm and dry when required or given love and caring when he cries. An infant entering into the toddler stage brings with him hope if he has learned and experienced trust in his infancy. Trust will have been based on his parents' ability to give him sustenance and comfort when needed. Distrust can lead to withdrawal and lack of confidence in his next stage if these basic requirements have not been met.

- Toddlers develop interests and like to explore their environment. Highly restrictive parents are likely to instill a reluctance in a child to attempt new challenges in this stage. If parents or caregivers encourage self-sufficiency, children will become confident. If they are held back or their attempts at self-sufficiency are ridiculed, they will doubt their ability to try new things and will hesitate when presented with new challenges.

- Preschoolers, in the three to six year old stage, begin to develop courage and independence. If they are encouraged, supported and helped, they will develop initiative. But if they are discouraged and their attempts are dismissed as an annoyance, they will feel guilty for trying new things and may become timid.

- School age children are more developed, reasonable and cooperative. If they are encouraged, they will strive to achieve their goals and will persevere at their tasks until they are completed. But if they are discouraged or punished for their efforts, they will develop feelings of inferiority about their capabiities.

- Adolescents are learning to get a sense of their identity and to determine where their lives are going. This stage is a transition from childhood to adulthood and is a particularly difficult life stage with many challenges. The age they are when they enter into the young adulthood stage will depend on when they have established their identity. This adolescent stage may end at twenty or twenty-five or whenever a person feels they have actually come of age and can feel their own sense of maturity.

- According to studies, young adulthood is from the late twenties to early thirties and is a time of intimacy where they are ready for long-term commitments in both close friendships or marriage. However some at this age may enter into marriage/intimacy while still wanting to blend their identities with others, not having yet established their own personalities. If they are unable to determine their own unique identities and establish intimacy with another person, they may feel isolated as they grow older.

- Middle adulthood can be considered between late thirties, (depending on the growth in both the adolescent and young adulthood period), and sixty-four and is a stage of productivity and creativity. It is a time when families are being started and children raised. If pre-stages have been positive, they will be mature and socially responsible. They will maintain healthy life patterns, will help with aging parents and growing and grown children. If the pre-stages have been negative, it may be a time of stagnation and challenges.

- Late adulthood is from sixty-five and onward and can be a stage of contentment or despair. If the pre-stages have been positive, they will be proud of their accomplishments, they will feel they are leading a productive and successful life and will accept the stage they are in. If they look back on their life as being unsuccessful, they will be dissatisfied and may feel depressed and hopeless.

According to research, these eight stages and what we have learned or not learned, will have an impact on our future lives. If we have had negative pre-stages, life will be more of a challenge for us in each stage.

How to Live to Be One Hundred Years Old

In several countries, the U.S., Canada and the U.K. being among them, people over one hundred years are the fastest growing segment in the population. Why are there now more people living to one hundred years and over than ever before?

Japan leads the way in the amount of centenarians they have but the U.S. with their large population have about 72,000, the U.K. 12,000 and Canada 5,825, as of 2011. Women make up the bulk of centenarians.

Studies of those who are one hundred years and older indicate this is because of the availability of better medical care, the fact that those living to this age are not smokers and they have kept their weight down. Many of these people, studies indicate, live independently, remain active, look after themselves, love life, have a sense of humor, are spiritual, courageous, accepting and are not quitters. And because of this, most have managed to keep their minds sharp.

Other things that have helped people age well is regular exercise and a balanced and healthy low calorie diet. Most centenarians believe that the occasional drink doesn't hurt either.

Genetics has a bearing on longevity but it is suspected, with research on twins, that genetic paths can be altered. As one centenarian said of her twin sister who died in her early seventies, "She was a pessimist. She never laughed." Statistics seem to indicate that optimistic people live longer than do pessimistic ones. Are you a positive thinker? How you view a situation will depend on your outlook and will also make a difference in the outcome. For those who see their cup as half full, they will have happier lives.

When speaking with centenarians, most will say they have had an active lifestyle throughout their lives. They have not let age slow them down. One lady who was one hundred years old was still driving. She also said it was necessary to have the will to do things and to stay curious.

Another lady who was 103 years old said it was necessary to adapt to change and not to dwell on the past. She also said not to be too serious, to laugh often. Laughing often seemed to be something that was consistent with all who had reached one hundred years.

Another centenarian, at 106 years old, said to put others first. She said it reduces stress and promotes well-being which helps to strengthen the immune system. Another said it was important to cultivate friendships and to get out there; that it was necessary not to isolate yourself.

According to one study, taking life easy does not lead to longevity. Surprisingly, according to this study, conscientiousness was the best predictor of longevity. This includes those who are dependable, hard-working, persistent and well-organized. Conscientious people take actions to protect their health, they don't engage in risky behaviors, they are less likely to smoke, drink in excess, abuse drugs or drive too fast. They will follow doctor's orders and make conscientious decisions on a daily basis. These people develop healthy habits early, stay physically active and associate with other healthy people.

Centenarians are often those who are receptive to new experiences. They will move out of their comfort zone and try new things. They also have a good attitude and maintain relationships. On their 100th birthdays, they will probably have many who will celebrate their party with them.

Snowbird Grandparents - The New Type of Grandparent

Snowbird grandparents are becoming increasingly common. They migrate south for the winter, happily anticipating building new nests and settling in for the six month interim. Does it have an affect on the family and their relationships?

There are diverse opinions on how the snowbird migration affects families - probably as many opinions as there are family members. As one young child put it, 'We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.' One parent comment, 'They are going to miss most of their grandchild's life and they don't really seem to care that much. They are choosing to be absent grandparents.' And from one young adult, 'I had snowbird grandparents and had a terrible relationship with them because of it.' Another opinion was, 'They spent their lives raising children and now they are free to do what they please.' and from a snowbird herself, 'We raised our kids, it's our time now.'

As with everything in life, there are pros and cons. It wouldn't be what I would choose to do but that is me. It isn't any different than grandparents who live in a different state or province than their grandchildren. And in many cases it's the offspring with the grandchildren themselves that make the decision to move somewhere else. The main difference is that in this case, the grandparents are choosing to be away from their families.

The positives about having a snowbird grandparent:

- There is a good opportunity to visit grandparents in a warm and sunny climate during the cold of winter where we live.

- There are still six other months of the year.

- A grandparent can still be a good grandparent regardless of whether distance is a factor or not. There are telephones, snail mail and of course everyone's favorite, e-mail and Skype.

- A snowbird's migration to warmer climes does not have to affect family relationships if you don't let it.

- Grandparents meeting new friends and enriching their lives can only benefit the lives of their family members. They will be more interesting and have stories to pass on to their grandchildren and families when they see them again.

The negatives about having a snowbird grandparent:

- Their own children, in some cases, resent that the grandparents aren't there for their grandchildren.

- The grandchildren miss the grandparents, particularly if there has been a close relationship before they decided to become snowbirds.

- There are health or other situations that make their children more reliant on them to assist with the grandchildren.

In the end though, it will be a choice that retiring couples will make based on their financial ability, health, and their own feelings about being away from family for six months out of the year.

Grandparents Parenting Their Grandchildren

The parents may be around but are unable to parent or they may not be around at all. Either way, parenting your grandchildren is not like parenting you're own children, it's a whole different ball game.

In the United States, there are more than 3.9 million households of grandparents parenting their grandchildren. There are many reasons why grandparents may need to parent their grandchildren. In some cases the parents may have died, have mental disorders, substance abuse, be incarcerated or have abandoned their children.

And because of many of those reasons, grandparents may be feeling their own sense of failure, guilt and embarrassment. What would already be a difficult job because of the loss to the grandchildren that they must deal with, they may have the additional burden of possibly trying to help their own children, they may have to deal with an alienation of their own child or may be suffering through the loss of that child.

The grandchildren will definitely be feeling loss and possibly abandonment. They may also have suffered abuse or neglect and are likely to feel insecure and angry. They could have had prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol or may have psychological or physical problems because of earlier experiences.

It will be the grandparents responsibility to make their grandchildren feel safe and secure; to give them stability and a regular routine; to communicate with them, to have rules, set limits and establish boundaries. These grandparents will also have to try and be positive, keep children active, show compassion, give guidance and unconditional love.

Grandparents can offer experience and perspective and show family continuity to their grandchildren. They can motivate, nurture and show affection. In the parenting role to their grandchildren, it will be important to take photos and keep records of the children's progress to let them know how important they are to you.

It is equally important that as grandparents who are parenting at a time when they had not been expecting to do so, that they take care of themselves and maintain their own health. It will be important also to have someone to talk to who can help when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming.

There could possibly be legal issues to deal with besides day-to-day care such as custody or legal guardianship. This may be even more difficult if the parent has a mental problem or a substance abuse issue. There will be extra expenses for diapers, formula, car seats, cribs, besides the clothes and extra food involved in raising a family. There may be physical disabilities that require wheelchairs or other expenses as well.

The financial obligation can be overwhelming for most at a time when they may be at their lowest income level. It is estimated that sixteen percent of those grandparents raising grandchildren live below the poverty level.

Kudos to those grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. It is not an easy task but they do it because they love their grandchildren.

How to Spend Valuable Time With Your Teenage Grandchildren

Spending time with teenage grandchildren is completely different than time spent with younger grandchildren. Although what they like to do is different, they still want to be involved with their family.

Although teenagers shun anything they consider to be babyish, they are not adverse to attention and involvement with the adults in their lives. This is particularly true if there has been a previously close relationship. However, trying to establish a bond when they are in their teens will be difficult if none existed before.

The older teen is more likely to want independence and not to feel as if they are treated like a child. They will respect our efforts if we are flexible, within determined boundaries, sensitive to their feelings and are nonjudgmental. And if we invite a friend of theirs to be included in family fun times, they will be eager to participate, especially when they see their friend is enjoying the fun. One granddaughter and her friend have stayed overnight on several occasions. And I have taken one young grandson and his friend to the beach and on a weekend camping trip.

If we are interested in them, eager to listen, talk to them and share ideas and feelings with them, they are likely to be more open with us especially if they know their friends are welcome too. Teenagers enjoy board games, cards and scrabble. They may be interested in tennis, going fishing or hiking or perhaps getting involved in the adventure of geocaching. There may be things relating to their specific interests that you can take them to, i.e.: science, space, woodworking, rock climbing, boating, horseback riding, a computer, sewing or art course, etc. They may want to go to the water slides, a movie or a sports game. Some of these things you may not be exactly involved in but they will appreciate the fact that they and their friend would not have got there without you.

Perhaps you know someone who has a commercial fishing boat or a sailboat who would be willing to take you and your teenage grandchild out on. And if your grandchildren are at all environmentally-conscious take them to visit an association that protects fur bearing animals, an owl rehabilitation organization, a wildlife rescue organization, a visit to an organization that researches solar energy, winds and tides, an organization that is interested in the preservation of the fish in the oceans and the ecological preservation of waterways, a fish hatchery, a dam, go on a bird watching expedition, join a group that learns wilderness skills, visit a Llama farm, go canoeing or kayaking, go on a whale watching trip, make a trip to watch millions of salmon struggle to lay their eggs, completing their four year life cycle. Go spelunking in an underground cavern. The YWCA and YMCA offer a variety of programs. Visit a lighthouse, go camping, go to local festivals, an auto or motorcycle show, the boat show, golfing or bowling.

By giving a grandchild the opportunity to try many of these activities, it could instill a lifelong interest and may possibly determine their life goals. At the very least it will, in all probability, encourage them to be interested in spending time with a grandparent.

Things To Do With Your Grandchildren

Doing things with your grandchildren are what memories are made of; sharing smiles and laughter and perhaps even a few tears. It is an opportunity to be a child again too.

The following are some ideas of things to do with your pre-teen grandchildren:

- When your grandchild has a sleep-over, have a 'Let's Imagine Box' beside the bed. Fill a small gift box with slips of 'let's imagine' questions. This works even if the child is unable to read yet. It will allow you to get to know your grandchild in a different way. some ideas are: 1)Let's imagine that you were going to look for buried treasure, where would you look? What kind of treasure do you think you would find? What would you do with it if you found any? 2)Let's imagine that you are flying in the sky with an eagle, where do you think you would go? Do you think you would make the sounds of an eagloe or would he talk like you do? 3) Let's imagine that you are lying on a large fluffy cloud and you're floating in the sky, what do you think you would see when you look around? Who do you think would be with you? Or put some personal slips in the box that relate specifically to that child.

- Another variation on this is story-telling where you begin the story and then the child adds his own bit of creativeness and between you, a story grows. It's interesting to see where the story goes and it gives another opportunity to know and relate to the child. It could begin with: 'Once upon a time Reilly was on his way to visit his cousin Jaeden when he passed Mr. and Mrs. Miller's house. He almost never saw the elderly couple but today they were sitting together on the porch. Their old rockers moved gently back and forth, squeaking on the weathered boards. "Hello Reilly," they called. "What are you going to do today? You look like you're in a hurry to get someplace. Have you got a fun day planned?" And then the child can continue with the story. It can go back and forth with each of you giving the story your own little twist. My grandchildren have enjoyed this but usually they want to do the ending part themselves.

- If there are several grandchildren, give each one their own special day by planning an event centered around them. Some of the ideas for this can be to take them for lunch or make a special lunch for them with their favorite food items, or if others are present, make that child special by having a king or queen crown that he/she can wear, let them choose their favorite desert. Or go somewhere special or have a 'curled-up with popcorn and their special treats' movie day.

- Spend time together talking and listening.

- Play the child's favorite games, perhaps Go Fish or Snakes 'n' Ladders.

- Plant a small garden together or if this isn't possible, plant some seeds in a plant pot and watch them grow. Let the child look after it himself.

- Make a framed certificate that the child can hang on his wall stating all of his special qualities.

- Send the child home with love notes telling him/her how special he/she is to you and that you're very happy they are your grandchild.

- Make a personalized happy birthday story about your grandchild.

- Make Christmas ornaments with your grandchild that they can hang on the tree. A child's happy face is much more important than a perfectly color coordinated tree.

- Go to the beach or an open field and fly kites together.

- Go on a picnic or at least have one in your back yard or on the balcony.

- Do an Album of Events, a book compiled of things you have done with your grandchildren; special excursions, favorite places, pictures of them with family, friends or a pet. The child will feel the love surrounding him with every page he turns.

- Sing songs and read books together.

- If you have several grandchildren together, play games, i.e.: 1) Let's pretend, a child's version of charades where the child can pretend to be a galloping horse, a robot, a snake or whatever they can imagine being. 2